|
Post by Ω-Admin-Cara-Ω on May 8, 2009 2:35:50 GMT -6
My psychiatrist once asked me to write down who I think I am. I obey everything I am asked to do (as long as it will not harm another living creature), I can not lie to another adult, I am terrified of what might happen if I do the wrong thing. I did as I was asked, but never showed it to him.
Here is what I wrote:
Inside Cara.
On the outside, you will see me dressed up to the nines. I ride dressed as though I am about to enter a show ring. Out of the saddle if I am not training in another of the many sports I participate in, I am dressed as though I am about to go on a job interview. I can be passed off by other people as a snob because I walk with a straight back, shoulders down and back and head held just so, this is also due to my English accent - which comes from being in England for so long.
Is this me though?
I wear what I wear because it is what is expected of me, and because it is all I own. My life was mapped out for me by my father, but other than what was on the will, other people have made decisions on my behalf. I was trained at an early age to obey - one might say I had it beaten in to me (literally).
My first sport lesson - gymnastics - started pretty much as soon as I went into foster care, ballet shortly followed by equestrian and then skating. I took all of theses under my wing, and I excelled in all of them. Later in life, I learned to relish in the fact that my coaching sessions got me out of the houses I was staying in for a little longer.
School was a little difficult at first, as I could remember everything, and it wasn't until I began to do my own study that I found out that I had a photographic memory. I can quote books, right down to line, paragraph and page number. School became easy after that, I got through the work fast enough tat I could put more time into my sports. The sad part about my memory. I can remember everything that I want to forget and nothing I want to remember. I can bring up the face of every man who has laid a hand on me, but I can't even bring up a shadow of what my parents looked like.
Working with horses became the one brightness in my life. They were the ones I could trust with everything. I could tell them everything that was happening and they would keep my secrets. Not only that, but they never looked down on my mixed breeding, the way most humans do (especially my own family).
Over time, I built a wall around myself. Emotions give people power over you, the more emotion, the more power the other person seems to have. I haven't shed a tear since before I started my schooling career, I don't smile unless I'm riding a horse, talking to a much smaller child or doing one of my other sports - and only then if I really get lost in what I'm doing. The closest I get to emotion is the odd frown I give when deep in thought.
I may seem calm and confident to all of you. On the inside, I am terrified. I am always waiting for it all to hit the fan.
Do I trust you? I don't even trust myself.
The eyes are the window to the soul You will never see inside mine.
If only I could light a match to this...
|
|
|
Post by Ω-Admin-Cara-Ω on May 10, 2009 3:07:18 GMT -6
Dear Diary
Well, this new school is interesting to say the least. It is different from any boarding school I have been to before, there are males here and not just the teachers. I can't believe that they sent me to a co-educational school. If Mr Andrew's ever works it out, he will have me removed from this school as fast as I can blink
Phoenix was heavily sedated when we got here. Too heavily sedated. It was almost like whomever loaded her didn't want her to wake up at all during the travel, and we were on the road for six hours, so she was in the float for longer. She wasn't happy when she woke up and kicked the wall of the stall. I am so glad she didn't cause any serious injuries and just as happy that she didn't damage the wall.
I don't know what I'm going to do here. There are so many people here, I haven't been booked into any local gymnastic clubs, things seemed to have changed, and I don't know if I can handle it.
I am in a school full of people and I feel so alone. I know where I am and I have never felt more lost in my life. I'm still avoiding sleep, but how long can I do that without the training that I'm used to.
I'd better sign off before I say too much
Cara-Jean Alyssa Kitchi [/right]
|
|
|
Post by Ω-Admin-Cara-Ω on Jun 4, 2009 0:29:53 GMT -6
Dear Diary
I have been forbidden to speak of what happened over the weekend, but he never said I couldn’t tell myself.
Mr Andrews arrived at the school office sometime Friday afternoon and I was called down to the office by Betty – bless her soul – after the classes had finished and I was in my door working through my homework. As I have been trained, I went down to the office –without question- as I was asked. I was more than a little surprised to see Mr Andrews there, waiting for me, and I wished the ground could have opened up and swallowed me when he called me to his side. We then left the campus, Betty tried so hard to stop him from taking me away, but there was nothing he could do – nothing I could do either.
When we arrived at his house, the work he had planned for me started pretty much right away. I did so many things wrong and he let me know straight away. While I wasn’t working, I was confined to the room he had set aside for me – a hole in the wall is a better description – restrained to the bed with cuffs, that looked a lot like a dog’s collar. They cut into my wrists every time I moved, and the mattress offered no comfort.
Oh diary, how am I supposed to attend riding lessons?
Upon arrival back here, in need of solitude, I went into the barn and tried to hide in a stall only to be discovered by not one but two of the educators. One being Ms Andrews, the dressage coach and maths teacher. She has an inkling that something is wrong, so I can’t try and find a way out of riding, it’ll just set off alarm bells and she’ll tell the school officials and then I’ll only be in more trouble.
Be obedient, but don’t disobey me. Tell only the truth, but speak nothing of what happens here. I care about you, but I can and will hurt you if I feel fit.
I want the world to stop for just a while. I want to banish the memories I don’t want to remember. I want to stop remembering things in minute detail whenever I see something that triggers a memory. I want to be able to cry when I am upset. I want things to be different, but I want others to stay the same. I want to be like any other fourteen year old teenager; I want to go shopping with my friends, I want to sit around and gossip, I want to be able to fall in love. But it doesn’t matter what I want, my life is controlled by a man named Tony Andrews.
Cara-Jean Alyssa Kitchi
|
|
|
Post by Ω-Admin-Cara-Ω on Mar 29, 2010 2:10:58 GMT -6
Dear Diary
Well, the gymnastics competition went as planned, for everyone. I went, I shone, and I brought him in some more victims... I mean gymnasts. I did all events in the team and singles, and fancy that, I managed to get gold in everything including the all around. The uneven bars is still my best apparatus, I guess that's because - like Nadia - I'm not afraid of anything and will try everything. The down side of the competition is that I've done something to my shoulder, I've possibly pulled something but it'll come right with the correct corrective training. If it doesn't, I'll go see the nurse.
On other notes; I'm doing work experience for my psychology course. My professor didn't want me taking any more time off my academic studies here than I needed to, so he set me up a job as a counselor for a young girl who survived the car crash that killed her parents.
Mystery - that's what the hospital have called her as they can't find out her real name and she won't speak - is the sweetest wee thing. She's a tiny girl, she's only six so it's not a surprise. You can tell that she's come from a loving family as she has an aura around her that hasn't seen any form of pain until the horror of watching her parents die.
I've only spent a single weekend with her so far, and I haven't been able to convince her to talk. However, I know that she loves horses and I'm hoping that I can break through the wall she's set up around herself with the help of my pony, Misty and with the help of Tonka as well - while he's not in lessons.
The hospital still can't find Mystery's family, and are giving up hope on finding any, and are thinking of handing her over to the courts who will then put her in foster homes. I need to get her to talk to me so that I can get a name out of her, and hopefully some information that could lead to finding family members of her parents.
Cara-Jean Alyssa Kitchi
|
|
|
Post by Ω-Admin-Cara-Ω on Sept 17, 2010 1:23:36 GMT -6
Dear Diary
It has been too long since I have written in here and for that I have no excuse other than the fact that I have been busy with school - the academic courses here, the equestrian training and the college courses I'm doing. I have graduated my psychology course - I chose not to partake in the graduation ceremony, but I still got my diploma like the rest of my class. I didn't wish to draw more attention to myself that I already had, the last thing I needed was for some sticky-beak reporter to take note of my age and me ending up on the front page of some newspaper or magazine.
Mystery did end up speaking to me at the end of our time together and through a drawing of hers, we managed to find her grandparents and she is happily living with them on their breeding farm. My pony, Misty has since left me. I wasn't giving her the time she deserved and I found a lovely elderly lady who would give the mare the time and attention she so deserved.
Since the completion of the psychology course, I have signed up for another two courses, Child Development and Social Working. The courses are both very interesting and time consuming, though that has never stopped me before. I haven't yet needed to attend any workshops, but I don't look forward to having to ask for the time away from school as I'm not sure what Mr Rees, the school principal, is going to say.
I seem to have found myself a group of friends; Jessica Brown; she has as keen a knowledge to learn as I do and I am giving her all the knowledge on herbs that she wants, she has also become a vet student. Seamus O'Bryne; he is as sweet as anything, and you can see that there is no hidden agenda behind his words. Llewellyn (Lee) Anwell; he is one of the academy's many barn hands. He happened upon me one night when I had returned from a meeting with Mr Andrews. It hadn't been a good meeting, and the punishment had left me a little sore - lashes will do that to you. Even though i won't let him know, but I know that Lee is trying to get me to lower my barriers, I can't do that though. Cara-Jean Alyssa Kitchi
|
|
|
Post by Ω-Admin-Cara-Ω on Sept 17, 2010 1:48:47 GMT -6
Dear Diary
Just when I thought that life was beginning to pick up for me, it turns a one-eighty all over again.
I was in the school library, working on one of my child development assignments; it was all about object permanence, very interesting and something I wish I still didn't have. The idea that things stop existing as soon as I can't see them - the reason that the peek-a-boo game excites babies so much and the whole "if I can't see you, you can't see me" thing. I then got a call to go to the principal's office. You could imagine my horror when I was told to go in and came face to face with Tony Andrews. I have no idea how long the men had been talking, and I didn't know what had been said. Mr Andrews was asked to leave the office and Mr Rees asked me whom else knew of what the other man had done to me. I told him that I had spoken to Seamus and Lee about my past, more than I like to tell most people.
Mr Andrews was finally called back into the office, the man was livid when he entered, but his manner quickly changed - enough to make my blood run cold - and he left, with the comment that my horses would no longer interfere with my school work. I didn't even need to go out to the barn to know that he had taken my best friend. At least the last time she left the academy, I knew she had been sold. This time I have no idea where she has been take to.
I went to the gym and did what I do best when upset, I did gymnastics until my body revolted against me and I had to stop. while I was working on the beam, Lee came in and offered to spot me. I was a little rude to him, and must apologize the next time I see him, since I pretty much ran out of the gym once I was able to pull myself together enough to stand straight without falling over.
Phoenix was just another horse that I have ridden. Why is her removal effecting me so much? The mere thought of her makes my stomach tighten up. The thought of what might happen to her, or be happening to her, makes me want to throw up! I know that life moves on, and because of this I will need to speak with Miss Carr about asking her if I can be assigned a school horse or pony that I can ride. I will also need to speak with Mr Bass about a competition mount for the school team.Cara-Jean Alyssa Kitchi
|
|
|
Post by Ω-Admin-Cara-Ω on Sept 17, 2010 18:12:18 GMT -6
Dear Diary
Memories keep surfacing, memories that I had locked away. Memories of my parents, of my home before my life ended, and memories of afterward.
I remember that ma was a wonderful cook. That the house would always smell of Cinnamon and soy sauce. Ma, no matter how busy she was, would always cook dinner and if father was able to be home for dinner, we would always sit together and eat as a family. For my first birthday, father made me a wooden car... then it goes cloudy and the rest is nothing but blackness.
Their faces? They are still no more than a shadow that I can't make out from the inky blackness that surrounds the rest of my memories of them.
The day I was called to the office, when Mr Andrews was there. I was thinking that I would rather be facing a pack of dogs and a memory crashed down on me as I opened the door and saw Mr Rees' dogs - bless them both.
I was in a foster home, one where there were a number of foster children, we all worked like slaves in the car yard that our foster father owned, we went through all of the wreckages to find anything that could bring him money. One night I was returning from gymnastics, there were a number of cars parked outside the lot, meaning that their was a card game going on inside. As I walked though the yard, I knew something wasn't right. That was when I heard the first snarl and the lights offering the yard a shadowy effect, caught the eyes of a rather large canine. the first snarl was accompanied by another and another until there were a dozen of them surrounding me, eyes reflecting, lips curled and teeth showing.
Then, I heard the first of the laughing that would haunt me for months after the event, the laughter and then the voices that egged the dogs on. Encouraged the dogs to close in on me. There was once voice that told me all I had to do was beg. Beg, and they would call the puppies away. I stood like a rock, keeping my breathing even as the dogs got closer and closer, the pack was closing in. One dog managed to tear a bit off my leotard, catching the skin on my hip with it's teeth before I crumbled and begged the men to call the dogs off me. I didn't cry, even back then I wouldn't show that much weakness, I just stood there and asked for them to call the dogs back.
The dogs were called off me and returned to their cars. Then the men told me what I had needed to do to thank them for calling the dogs back... Now I know the reason for my caution around dogs, I am not so cautious about them anymore and will happily pat them if they come over and show that they would like a pat.
There is still lots of my past I want to remember, and so much more that I want to forget. I want to be a normal teenager, a normal human, I want to be able to allow myself to cry when I get hurt, I want to be able to allow myself to get close to someone and not worry about what the price of my friendship will cost me. I want to be able to do things without worrying what some male's hidden agenda might be. Cara-Jean Alyssa Kitchi
|
|
|
Post by Ω-Admin-Cara-Ω on Oct 16, 2010 13:28:14 GMT -6
Dear Diary
Well... I have some really good news. Since the meeting in Mr Rees' office, I haven't seen or heard a things from Mr Andrews. The not so nice news, Mr Andrews too my horses when he left. Even without my best friend, he will not stop me from riding! I went to see Miss Carr and she assigned me to Faerie Realm. She also asked me to work with a young New Forest Pony named Merle and introduce the pony to a saddle.
Merle's personality is awesome! She's such an honest and trusting girl that I'm going to do everything slowly and gently so that she doesn't have any reason to mistrust me.
I received a letter from the United States Gymnastics Federation and they have asked me if I will appear in a demonstration they are holding at Madison Square Gardens in New York City. after talking with Mr Rees, I got his permission to attend the demonstration, his only condition was that I take a chaperone, this is easy though as I have asked Lee Anwell to act as my coach/spotter for when I workout in the gym.
More on the horses... I have now been assigned with another mare. She is a silver dun, Welsh/Thoroughbred cross. She is said to be a perfectly trained horse, but due to bad handling she has picked up some nasty habits. She has also changed home lots which hasn't helped her settle in anywhere. After doing a bit of work with her, I have found that her girth area is very sensitive. There aren't any visible scars so any injuries are internal. I am working with these through lots of gentle work and trying to use my legs as little as possible and being careful when I tighten the girth.
We have done lots of groundwork and I am slowly reminding her of everything she already knows, which is way easier then trying to teach her things from the start. She is a very sweet pony and I can see her being a champion.
I'd better go as there are loads of things for me to do before I have to head down to the barn and give the horses I work with their evening meals.
Oh, before I go. When I say that Mr Andrews took my horses, he took Phoenix and Arlette. As Chasing Daisies, ShapeShifter and Mirrhi are still in Evening Primrose, I am guessing he didn't know of my ownership of them.Cara-Jean Alyssa Kitchi
|
|
|
Post by Ω-Admin-Cara-Ω on Oct 16, 2010 19:52:34 GMT -6
Dear Diary
I'm here!! I'm in NYC!!
The plane flight from Blue Ridge to New York City was... well a plane ride. really no different from any other I've had... okay, that's a lie. I actually had decent company this time. I'm glad that Mr Rees said I had to have a champerone as I wouldn't want to be traveling alone... I read the papers! I know how many people can just vanish from an airport!
When we arrived at the airport, we were greeted by one of the people who were organizing the events that were happening this weekend! We traveled from the airport to Madison Square Garden by shuttle. I was already wearing her leotard and Blue Ridge team tracksuit over the top of it. I figured that being here would be a good opportunity to advertise for the school. The room was already filled with people, other gymnasts that had been called in to preform as well as the people moving the equipment around. She couldn't believe the gymnasts she could see: Nastia Liukin, Shawn Johnson, and Bridget Sloan to name a few.
We were called over to the floor exercise mat and the official who was in charge of the whole weekend spoke to us, welcoming us and thanking us for taking the time out of out schedules to attend. We were then invited to practice, work through our moves before the demonstration started the next day.
While all the other rushed off to the other apparatuses, I remained on the floor mat. Out of my bag I took the i-pod that had my music on it (the instrumental version of Lady GaGa's Just Dance.
The practice went well, I only slipped off the bars once, which made all the adults come running, even though Lee was already right there. I hurt my hip when I hit the ground, but was able to brush off everyone's concern as I went right back to my routine.
I'm looking forward to tomorrow and I can't wait to show young children what gymnastics can offer them. I'd better go as we have a group get-together this evening and I really need to attend, the "judges" have said that they want to tell us something that wasn't mentioned in the letters.Cara-Jean Alyssa Kitchi
|
|
|
Post by Ω-Admin-Cara-Ω on Oct 20, 2010 23:48:06 GMT -6
Dear Diary
Well, I'm back in my dorm-room at BRRA. It has been a weekend to remember!!!
The meeting that they (the officials) called on the Friday night was really interesting. They had decided that they were going to turn a harmless demonstration into a mock competition, where we would all be competing against each others and there would be a medal ceremony afterward! Imagine my shock as this was said! I am here without a trainer, I have been working hard since I heard about this weekend, but no where hard enough to compete in a competition! Especially one against Olympic medalists!! I am way out of my comfort zone here - however I kept my horror a secret from everyone, including Lee.
On the first day, we all marched out (as we would in a big time meet). Rather than marching out in our coaching teams though, we came out in alphabetical order which meant that I was one of the first to stride out (yeah, just a tiny bit nerve wracking)! We were then all introduced as we stood in a line centre stage, saluting as our names were called out. Then it started!
The "competition" was held both mornings and in the afternoon we mingled with the public, the others wore their team tracksuits. Me? I wore the school tracksuit that I had managed to source from Mr. Tee before I left to come here.
Over the two days, I met loads of girls who wanted to be America's future champions! I answered all their questions and even got to teach a handful of girls some really easy beam skills. Maybe I should look at training as a gymnastics coach? The look on the girls' faces as the executed a new move and managed to stick it was priceless. It was a wonderful time and I am so grateful that I was given the opportunity to attend.
The medal ceremony passed in a blur. During the competition I threw in quite a few tough skills - a lot of them I hadn't even practiced before coming here, but with the other gymnasts I was up against there was no way my C grade skills were going to cut it! As for the medals, I got a gold for the floor routine! And to my embarrassment, they had to call my name twice (I put getting the gold down to me throwing those Arabian double front layouts). I got equal in silver on the bars and beam. The man who was handing out the medals said that I had caught a lot of attention during my routines so not to be surprised if I get a few letters from State colleges. Not too sure how I feel about this.
The journey home was pretty quiet, I actually slept for most of it! Until a dream woke me up and then sleep was impossible after that, especially with his face haunting me. It had been a brilliant weekend and I had to ruin it by falling asleep!!!
I need to run away and go and check on my horses - I know that they have been in the best care possible - it's been three days since I saw them last!Cara-Jean Alyssa Kitchi
|
|
|
Post by Ω-Admin-Cara-Ω on Jan 3, 2011 2:58:07 GMT -6
Dear Diary
It has been a long time since I have written in here and I am sorry, but one might say I have been hiding from myself for the last few months.
Now where to start? To start off, I may have family after all. I received a letter from a man claiming to be my uncle. Here is a copy of the letter he sent me: My dearest Cara. You don’t know me, but my name is Shinto Kimura.
When I was a teenager, I was taken under the wing of your Sofu (highly respectful name for grandfather) as I took on a job as his apprentice. They opened their home to me and I became a part of the family, your Otousan (father) and I became great friends. We all grieved deeply when we heard of the death of Mikoto and his wife, I was however not told of your existence until the death of Takato sama. What is my relationship to you? If you will allow, I would be honored if you would accept me as your Ojisan (uncle).
Since learning of you, Cara-chan, I have been shocked to learn of what has happened throughout your life. I cannot imagine the weariness it must pull on your psyche having to move around so much. I have the equivalent to what the westerners would call a law degree, and have been doing some work on your behalf. I understand that you are currently attending a boarding school and as much as I would like for you to come and live in Japan, I would much rather than you remained where you are if you are happy to do so. I have sent a copy of this letter to your Kouchou-sensei (principal) so that will be in the know of what is going on, as I am guessing that he will know of your current state of legal guardianship.
Now, to get down to why I am really writing this letter; along with my study of your history, I have pulled a few strings of my own. As a living relative of yours, I have a signed letter from your Obaasan (grandmother) stating that I was adopted into the family, I have been granted your legal guardian. Upon doing this, I have granted you power of attorney of yourself. This means that your social worker may no longer touch you or tell you what to do. Yes, I have been doing my study and someone has been watching over you, even though they should have spoken up on your behalf.
I have written you a letter to hand to that akuma kaiju (devil monster), as well as an English version of this one should you feel the need to hand that to him as well.
O ki o tsukete (take care of yourself) Shinto between you and I, I am not sure if want to allow myself to believe this. I challenged the power of Tony Andrews (yes, me). Just after I got the aforementioned letter, I saw him on the school ground trying to sweet-talk Aurora, I didn't like what I saw so I told him to leave - truth be told, I needed the back-up of an older male, but he still left.
Arlette and Phoenix have made their way back to the Academy through a teacher purchasing them. I have taken back ownership of Phoenix (secret ownership though and no competitions for a long time), but have given Arlette, or Practical Magick as she is now called, to the Academy as I have done all I can with her and it's time she taught some other people how to ride.
Diary I think I need to admit it, I actually need help. I can't sleep, I don't eat, I am in constant pain from headaches, if I do something for too long I have spots dancing in my vision. I know that the answer to most of my ails would be to have a good night's sleep. I can't sleep though, that's when my memories have free rein and can run to their heart's content and haunt me. Yes my past is giving me nightmares, it always has, and is now beginning to wear me down.
I have been doing some thinking lately though, and I think that the other solution to all of my problems would be to get in touch with Kimura Shinto-San and see if I could go to Japan to live with him and finish my school career there.
Why? I am supposedly free of Tony Andrews now, but he still haunts my every thought. I still behave as though he is going to appear at any given moment. Our sessions together are too well instilled in me, a part of me that I can't seem to let go. I can honestly say that I don't miss him, but he is still a lager part of my life than I wish him to be.
I think I have filled in enough pages for now, we shall talk again laterCara-Jean Alyssa Kitchi [/font]
|
|
|
Post by Ω-Admin-Cara-Ω on Feb 8, 2011 2:37:48 GMT -6
Dear Diary
It has been a while since I have even thought of writing down my thoughts, mostly from the fear that someone would find them, one of the other Maiko who are looking to get smiled upon by their senpei (teacher)...
Let me start from the beginning. I went to Japan to escape everything that was my life here at Blue Ridge. I went to spend some time with my Ojisan (or at least the man who claimed to be my uncle). Even as I boarded the plane a tiny voice inside me was saying that I was making a mistake, that I knew better than anyone that there were no happily ever afters. Even so, I boarded the plane and sat for the flight to Japan.
My arrival was pretty normal, one of Shinto Kimura's business associates met me at the airport and I was quickly whisked away to a beautiful looking building in the centre of Gion in Kyoto. Following the man inside the building, as soon as I walked through the door I knew that I had just walked into a trap.
It turned out that this beautiful building was an okiya (a school for Maiko). I was quickly surrounded by woman of every age as they ohhed and ahhed over me, especially my eye colour. Some holding tape measures while others removed my travel clothes. Yes, I felt a little intimidated. Once I was dressed in a kimono that fitted properly, I was then taken through to one of the other room and my lesson began.
It was almost two weeks before I actually got to meet Mr Kimura, who ends up to be a well established business man who holds quite a fortune. He didn't want me to be his niece, he wanted me to earn him money with my "lithe body and dazzling eyes". This he told me as he circled me like a buyer looking at all angles of a horse.
As my lessons continued, I kept my head down and my mouth closed, I began to attend parties where I served rich men green tea and Dango. I was never invited out to the restaurants though, every party I attended was at the okiya. It was as if they (Mr Kimura and Mother - she's the head teacher) were afraid that someone would see me.
The lessons were harsh and to the point. I quickly learned if I got something wrong - the sharp pain of the strap is a good teacher - and I was doted on when I got things correct. Luckily I'm a quick learner.
You would not believe how relieved I was when it was time for me to return home. As a reward for being such a good wee girl, Mr Kimura told me that there would be a mare waiting for me when I returned to Kentucky. A pure grey Connemara, her name is Memoirs of a Geisha. I guess that this is so every time I ride my new mount, I can't help but think of my time in Mr Kimura's okiya.
I must finish before I say much more than I should.
Cara-Jean Alyssa Kitchi [/right]
|
|
|
Post by Ω-Admin-Cara-Ω on Jan 19, 2012 0:30:43 GMT -6
Dear Diary
Things have been really busy lately, thus my lack of writing. That and the fact that nothing is sacred around here and I'm sure that my room isn't as private as I would wish it to be, but as I have no evidence I can't point fingers.
Things have changed rapidly at the school. Dr Clarkson and his sister vanished, so I was standing in as the vet until the new one, Dr Winters, arrived. I did a handful of courses over the summer break, one of them being a vet nurse course, which made me at least a little qualified.
After some surfing online to find any local shows, I have spoken with Mr Bentley and Miss Carr and they have agreed that I can show the ponies that aren't being used and have them hopefully sold on to a house where they will get the love and attention they deserve. I knew that I was putting a lot on my plate when I agreed to do this, but after doing one show with Jupiter's Comet and Comical Reference, we are going to another this weekend so that the people interested can see them in action again.
I don't know what is wrong with me lately. I speak when I should remain silent, and I answer back when I should just accept what has been said. It's a good thing that Mr Andrews knows how to keep me in line and is not slow in reminding me where my place is - mainly below his foot. However, whatever happens is my own fault and I deserve everything I get.
The new equine vet is nice, but I don't think she likes me. The other vet student is really nice too, I am unsure what her opinion of me is. She, like myself, has an ill-treated mare that she is trying to gain the trust of. I have given her some advice on the herbs she can use along with my collection of alternative training books.
I must sign off as there are horses that need to be ridden.
Cara-Jean Alyssa Kitchi [/right]
|
|
Cara-Jean Kitchi
Master
Vet Student[M:2668]
Life is the art of drawing, Without an easer -John Gardner
Posts: 615
|
Post by Cara-Jean Kitchi on Jun 15, 2012 2:29:58 GMT -6
Dear Diary
Things seem to settle down, to make me feel comfortable, just before they jump up and bite me in the backside again.
It is the middle of summer and I am still dressing as though it is the middle of winter. No matter how I try, I can not manage to regulate my body temperature.
The horses are great! Bunny and I got Champion at a show in the neighbouring town, and Galaxy got first in English Pleasure. I'm still going to keep looking for a new home for the little gelding though, as I don't think he is happy here.
Miranda and I are working really hard with Rikke to get the mare back into shape, we both have huge plans for her. I'm also thoroughly enjoying the horse rescue class, and Risk is a beautifully innocent creature that was just caught up in the wrong past. I'm slowly getting through to her, making sure I don't push her. Dr Carr, the new equine vet is really nice - it's good to have her back at the school. I do however think she knows more about me than she will openly admit.
Gymnastics is as fulfilling as always. Coach Hoefflin is tough, but he is a great coach and pushes me when he knows I'm not giving it my full. My shoulder is giving me more and more trouble, but I do as I have been taught and I am pushing through the pain. It's a good thing I'm not left handed.
I think that Mr Andrews felt that he had taken too much of a step back from my life and decided to come back full force. I am now back to having weekly sessions in his office, and he is happily reminding me how much it hurts not to instantly do what is asked of me. That's a laugh though, he never asks, he tells. So, once again, I am spending all my time hiding things from people that see me every day of the week.
The school year is almost over and I am hoping that I can spend my vacation on campus... however that will mean having to try and talk other people into the idea... I don't want to go into foster care for three months. I am hoping that I can have three months to pull myself back together.
Why is it always darkest before dawn?Cara-Jean Alyssa Kitchi [/font]
|
|
Cara-Jean Kitchi
Master
Vet Student[M:2668]
Life is the art of drawing, Without an easer -John Gardner
Posts: 615
|
Post by Cara-Jean Kitchi on Aug 7, 2012 2:06:44 GMT -6
Dear Diary The new school year has begun, but gosh it got busy right before it started!!!
Miranda, a girl whom I will now openly refer to as a friend, and I were having a sleepover at the Vet Clinic and things started well, we brought in all of the horses who needed to be brought in, and feed out to the Gypsy Cob who remains outside in her yard, she is a little claustrophobic and trashes the stall so for her peace of mind, the three of us (Dr Carr, Miranda and I) decided that it was healthier if she remained out - and the weather is really nice so there's no worry about her catching a chill.
As the night progressed, and Miranda, and I talked about the mare that we have nursed back to health, it dawned on us that she might indeed be pregnant. The affirmation of this came to light when her water's broke, Thankfully we had already taken it upon ourselves to move her into a well banked, much bigger stall.
To cute a long story short - as Fée already has her own journal and I have written this story out in full - Rikke gave birth to two perfect fillies, a bay (my Fée) and a black (whom Miranda named Tanya). Sadly, Rikke rejected the foals so Miranda and I have taken it upon ourselves to hand rear them.
...but, with the sweet comes the sour. Bunny has been spending her nights out in the pasture, not only keeping Jewel company, but also because the insects during the day are causing her to react to their bites. Oh, Jewel is a little mini-Gypsy I picked up at an auction we went to to play vet at with Dr Carr. Onto my tale about Bunny. It seemed that while she spent her nights out in the open, she caught a chill as she suddenly came down with an unexplained illness. I preformed every test known to the veterinary world - I was very concerned that she could have picked up some contagion and could have already spread it through the barn - but each of them came back clear, so I had hit a brick wall and there was no way over it.
With the permission of Ms Carr, I have spent every possible waking moment with my Bunny, keeping ice on hand when she's burning up and adding all the right herbs to the mashes I have been taking her three times a day - and if I'm lucky, she will eat some of it. And, in between playing vet to Bunny, I'm Fée's wet-nurse, a gymnast and a student. I can feel myself approaching my limit, but I can't slow down, I refuse to give up on my precious mare.
I have taken a vial of blood from Bunny, I just hope that this turns up something for me. “The phoenix hope, can wing her way through the desert skies, and still defying fortune's spite; revive from ashes and rise.”
Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra Cara-Jean Alyssa Kitchi [/font]
|
|