(Gabriel)Winter of our Discontent

[Cara-Jean Kitchi]

Cara stood in her dorm room, the heels of her hands pressed against a forehead that just wouldn't stop the incessant pounding, as though it were beating the drum-tune of her last march. She shook her head to banish the though as she lowered her hands and looked into the full length mirror that was on the door of her closet. She ran her hands down the smart tailor made copper pant suit that she was wearing, she was wearing a belt that she had had to make new holes in to keep the pants up and the blazer was at least a size too big for her. She had never been one to try and hide her petiteness nor had she ever tried to flaunt it, but she didn't like the way the clothes sat on her - the only reason she was even looking at herself in the mirror.

Unable to do anything about the way she looked in what she was wearing, Cara stepped away from the mirror and, pushing her feet into her ballet flats, she headed out the door - making sure to lock it behind her - and headed down the stairs and out of the Blue House. She walked across campus toward the main building, where the counsellor offices were. The closer she got to her destination though, the slower her steps became. Part of her wanted to turn on her heel and run the other direction, her blood turned to ice as she thought of the session she had attended with Mr Andrews two days earlier. Shaking her head to banish the thoughts, she stopped outside Mr Reese's office. Raising her hand, which was visibly trembling, she gently knocked on the door.

[Gabriel Reese]

Gabriel sighed as he studied the computer screen, trying in vain to figure out a move on the game that would enable him to, not win, but at least not get himself totally creamed by the computer. He had never been anywhere good at chess, especially when playing against a machine. He supposed he must have been quite bored to even be playing the game in the first place, which was true… Unless a student came to see him, he didn’t have much to do now that he was all caught up.

He still didn’t dress as professionally as the other counselors, though, and Gabe had noticed that it garnered him some looks. Today he’d chosen to dress for comfort and wore a pair of loose black and green jogging pants and a dark hunter green long-sleeved shirt. It had been chilly in the office that morning, but he’d turned the heat up and now it was warmer, causing him to have to roll the sleeves of the shirt up to his elbows.

The man looked up from the screen at the knock, a little startled, then his eyes fell on the note he’d written himself and a smile crossed his face. He quickly shut the computer off and stood up, moving to open the door. “Miss Kitchi.” He said as he opened the door, motioning her in. “I had almost forgotten our meeting. Come on in and take a seat.”

[Cara-Jean Kitchi]

Cara's mind had been on other things that she leapt backward as the door in front of her opened. Pressing her lips together, ordering herself to calm down, she bowed her head toward the man and entered his office. He had almost forgotten their meeting? If only she were so lucky to be able to forget things, however her memory wasn't the thing at question here.

She walked over to the chair she had sat in the last time she had been in this office and carefully lowered herself into it, allowing one ballet flat to slip off as she tucked one leg under herself as she sat down - in an attempt to make it look as though she wasn't here under duress.

She brought up the last "chat" she'd had with Mr Reese and wondered how much of it they would go over again today and how much he had spoken to the other teachers about her; as she knew that that alone would raise possibly a million new questions that she would need to dance around. That was how she was going to look at these meetings, as a dance, something mathematical that she could work out without standing on her own toes or disobeying her master... er... social worker. A muscle in her cheek jumped as she clenched her teeth, forcing herself to calm down and just make it through the time she was in this office so that she could head back to her dorm, get changed and head to the gymnastics studio.

[Gabriel Reese]

Gasbe chuckled softly as the girl jumped backwards, but made no mention of it as she walked in. An eyebrow rose when she went straight for the chair she'd sat in at their first sssion, but again, he made no comment, keeping his thoughts private. Gabe once more sat in the chair beside hers, twisting it around slightly so he could face her more easily. He gave her his trademark grin and studied her for a moment. Not long, but long enough so that he could figure out that she was nervous. He chuckled again and leaned back, getting comfortable in his chair and thanking the gods that he'd been allowed to choose what went inside his office, as he himself hated the usual uncomfortable office chairs.

"How have you been?"[/color He started, changing track almost immediately afterwards and speaking as he had in their previous session, as tat was how he counseled. "Anything new lately?" Gabe knew she'd been selected onto the equestrian team, as he'd had access to the files, and he knew what her classes were and also that some of the equestrian classes had met for the first, second, or third times by now but he wondered if she herself would mention anything.

[Cara-Jean Kitchi]

Cara folded and unfolded her hands in her lap. She knew there was a reason she hated sitting down - other than the fact it burned less calories then when you were standing up - there was nothing to do while sitting down. If she was standing, at least she could pace or bounce on the balls of her feet - even if that was quite rude.

The man's words swept over her and she thought about how to answer them. "I have been busy, Sir." She replied to the first question, even if most people would answer it with the fact that they have been well, but she couldn't honestly say that as she knew she wasn't well, but she also refused to go into that. Anything new? She lifted an eyebrow as the words repeated themselves in her head. "I made the equestrian team and there is a gymnastics meet coming up." Her voice even sounded a little conversational, even if it did lack any feeling. She was stressing out over the meet, and even just mentioning made her stomach cramp up, but again something she didn't want to go into right now. She leaned forward slightly to try and relieve the feeling before she sat up straight again.

[Gabriel Reese]

He nodded, leaning forwards. Gabe really was interested in what went on in his 'clients' life's. He studied her intensely, eyes tracking her face, keeping eye contact with her and keeping a light grin on his own face. He had gotten from their last session that she seemed quite reserved and was perhaps a touch hesitant to speak to him, though upon questioning around, he'd learned that she was a quiet person in general and didn't really speak much to anyone. "The equestrian team? What disciplines are you riding in it? Which horses?" He chose to focus on that first simply because it was the first thing she'd mentioned, though he also added, "Tell me about what you do in gymnastics, too. I'm afraid I've never really taken the time to watch much else besides cheerleaders back when I was in school." He grinned slightly.

Gabriel frowned slightly as she shifted and he watched as she leaned forwards before straightening. "Are you alright, Cara-Jean?" He asked, concern lacing his voice. If she were sick of hurting for some reason, he felt almost obligated to try and help. Well, he was obligated… Gabe glanced out the window for a moment, secretly glad he'd left his dog at his 'home' for the day.

[Cara-Jean Kitchi]

Cara shook off his concern. "I am fine." shrugged her shoulders slightly as she forced herself to ignore the gnawing pain in her stomach and put her attention into the questions he had asked of her. "Possibly all of the English ones; show jumping, dressage, cross country." She replied. She knew that she'd never had any formal training in cross country, but she had competed ponies over a course or two in her past and would never decline if Ms Carr asked her. "I am riding an Academy owned mare named Silver Fire, and I am training my mare, Paint by Numbers, as my reserve."

She shrugged her shoulders again at the mention of gymnastics. "I train in all four apparatuses." She said, not quite knowing how much he wanted to know. "I have been told that I am best in uneven bars." She shrugged again. She hated the fact that she couldn't lie, not outright anyway, and that she was trained to obey. However, she knew that all of the questions he had asked do far could have been brushed off with a less intelligent answer, but that just wasn't the way she had been brought up. And she didn't think she could do layman-terms even if she wanted to.

Part of her was tempted to ask Mr Reese a question, just to try and take the attention off herself for a moment, but she wasn't brave enough to ask. So, she just sat there chewing on her lower lip watching the seconds ticking away on a clock in her head - not the best way of passing time, but the talk of competitions had made her feel nauseous.

[Gabriel Reese]

Gabe shrugged one shoulder at her dismissal of his concern. If she didn't want to let him know something he wasn't going to push at it… not unless he thought something was seriously wrong. As he focused on her, he caught onto the fact that she was a bit nervous, and wondered if it could be nerves from the upcoming competitions or something else. He was betting on the competitions, though, as she seemed to be the type who would want to do her very best. Gabe knew how people, especially teenage students, could get over things that, when they got older and reflected back, would seem quite silly.

He stood up and moved around to the back of his desk, opening a drawer and pulling out a single bottled water. Gabe didn't quite know why, but he'd developed a love of water a few years ago, especially warm water. He didn't much like cold water, but room temperature was fine. As he moved back around to the chair and sat back down, he untwisted the lid and took a long drink. "If you want something, I have more waters in my desk." He offered to her, setting up the tone of their meeting as relaxed and friendly, as he always was.

Gabriel knew that Cara didn't really know much about him, so as he settled back in his chair completely, he figured… 'why not'. It could possibly help her to be more willing to speak a bit more if she knew some about him, so he gave her a crooked grin and set the water on the floor. "So, before we go any further… I can imagine that it's hard to talk to someone who's almost like a stranger… who is a stranger, essentially. Is there anything you'd like to know about me? Anything at all?"

[Cara-Jean Kitchi]

Cara shook her head in reply to the offer. "No thank you, Sir." She replied, she had a bottle of water that she needed to finish in her dorm, and like everything else so also measured the amount of fluid she took in each day.

She moved back slightly as Mr Reese sat down again, no matter how often she was in here she knew that she would never feel as comfortable in here as he was trying to make her. She trusted other people about as much as she trusted herself - which was zero to none. She trusted animals more than she did humans.

She shook her head one more as he spoke again. "With all due respect, Sir." She replied. "I have found that the less of others I know, the better it is for me." Ah look at that, an honest answer that didn't need a code book to translate it. Being a vet student, she knew that the man had a Thoroughbred gelding named North who had recently had gelded, and that was about all she needed to know. Her past may not have been a bowl of roses, but it had taught her a number of life lessons, and one of them was to keep silent and not ask questions, especially when she knew she didn't want to know the answers.

[Gabriel Reese]

Gabriel shrugged slightly and took another sip of his water, staring out the window for a moment at the trees. Autumn had hit well enough. The trees were stil lin the process of changing colors, but he knew it wouldn't be long before the first frost hit and then winter would show up quickly enough.

"Suit yourself, though know that if you get thirsty, all you have to do is ask for something. I always keep extra drinks." He said to her with a smile, noticing how she moved back a little as he sat back down. He frowned slightly, "Do I make you that uncomfortable, Cara-Jean?" He asked her straight-forwardsly, leaning forwards slightly in order to better study her facial features and hopefully get a read on her. He got that she didn't talk much, but he was also quite good at reading those emotions that flickered through a persons eyes, unbidden.

"Why is it better for you to know next to nothing about others?" He asked, her comment garnering his attention. It was human nature to be curious about things, and he knew that she had to be just as curious about him as he was about her, though she was quite good at hiding things, he'd found out... not through any backwards means or anything, no... Gae had simply concluded that due to her reactions and how she seemed to give half-answers to any questions he asked in their first session.

[Cara-Jean Kitchi]

Cara nodded her head about the drinks, though she knew she would never ask for one - as well as keeping track of her fluid intake, she also was careful about who she accepted drinks from, even if the bottle was sealed.

She clenched her teeth at the man's question, as he managed to hit the nail directly on the head. She chewed on her lower lip as she clasped her hands together and studied the crescent indents her nails had left on the knuckles of her other hand, as she moved back a little more when he leaned forward. "Yes, Sir." She replied. "You do make me feel uncomfortable." She swallowed and clenched her fists as she could feel her hands shaking.

She bit down on her lower lip until she could sense the metallic taste of blood as Mr Reese spoke again. This is why she hated open ended questions, and people that wanted more than a yes or no answer. "It is easier not to ask questions, just to find out that you have been lied to, Sir. And sometimes those that tell you truth, you end up wishing you had never asked, so I don't ask." There should have been emotion in her words, but they lacked any of it.

[Gabriel Reese]

He wasn't too surprised to hear that he made her uncomfortable. Gabe could understand it, but still, it did bother him a little as he did try to keep things pretty open and friendly. He chose to focus on her comfortableness around him first and foremost, though, as she would need to work past it, or at least try, before they could really get anywhere much further in their counseling sessions.

Gabriel sat back slightly, slipping to sit sideways in his chair so he was facing her a bit better, and gave her a long, inquisitive look, studying her expressions more clearly as she continued to talk and watching the motions she went through. "How?" He questioned quietly, "Tell me, Cara, is it just me or is it several people? Do you know why you're uncomfortable?" He didn't give her a judging look, just merely watched her for a few moments before speaking again, "You're a student here, and a darned good one, from what I hear, yet you're almost withdrawn into yourself to an alarming degree." He tilted his head slightly, still watching her, "You're an orphan, are you not?" He finally asked, "You're under the guardianship of a social worker or something of the sort?" Gabe knew that he had had issues with being under his aunt and uncle's guardianship, so he did wonder if she had problems with being under the guardianship of someone not family, even though he knew from her file she'd been a 'ward of the state' for a long time now.

[Cara-Jean Kitchi]

Cara moved herself around so that she no long had either shoe on, her heels were on the edge of the seat, her knees puled up to her chest and her arms around them. It was a position she took when she used to sit in her mare's stall and needed space to think, in a sense, she was putting a wall between herself and everyone else. "It isn't just you, Sir." She replied, her normally soft voice even quieter. "I'm not comfortable around most adults because..." Her voice broke off and swallowed as she shivered, her body felt like it had been bathed in ice as a males voice echoed in her ears; Be obedient, but don’t disobey me. Tell only the truth, but speak nothing of what happens here. I care about you, but I can and will hurt you if I feel fit.. She pressed her lips together and shook her head, silently begging that he wouldn't push the topic, even though she knew that she had now said too much for him not to want to know more.

She shrugged her shoulders at the comment about what kind of student she was, she knew that her memory was the reason for her doing so well, academically.

She closed her eyes to hide the pain as the word orphan came out of the other man's lips, and she nodded her head to let him know he was correct. "My legal guardian is my social worker." She opened her eyes. "I would not be where I am today without the help of Mr Andrews, I owe him the world for what he has given me." The words were what she had been trained to say, even if they did make her want to throw up, she tightened her arms around her legs as her stomach cramped up again.

[Gabriel Reese]

Gabe recognized what the girl was attempted to do, to build a wall up around herself. He'd done so himself, in the past, and he'd seen it done several times when observing others without them knowing. He glanced away from her, choosing to instead look elsewhere, as he knew from experience that a person who was already uncomfortable was only made worse by being watched, though he did, of course, keep her in his peripheral vision. "Because why, Cara?" He questioned, as he crossed the room to his filing cabinet, grabbing her file and returning to sit down, flipping it open and glancing through it. Gabriel name a mental note to attempt to speak to some other people, adults, around Blue Ridge. If she was uncomfortable around most adults, well, that was a good place to start for information, though he disliked 'snooping around' like he was beginning to feel he'd have to do in order to get a good read on Cara. It almost sounded like she was a possible abuse case, just from her way of acting and speaking, but… Gabe shook his head slightly. Surely not…

I won't call her that again… Gabe thought as he saw the hint of pain on her face upon being called an orphan, even though that was what she was. He flipped through the pages on her file until he came to the one about her social worker and read the few lines that were provided. Nothing out of the ordinary, from what he could read, but there were always grey areas with people. Gabe was curious. "I haven't yet met your social worker." He stated lightly, "One would think he'd be interested in meeting the person you're counseling with. Makes him seem a bit… lax… in his care of you, in a way. Is he a nice man?" The man knew as well as anyone that there were crooked people in the world, and anyone could fall into that category if they weren't careful. One entire year of his schooling had been focused on that idea alone. "Let me rephrase that, is he a good man? Does he treat you well?" There was a huge difference between being nice and being good, Gabe knew, and he hoped the girl would answer him, as he really didn't want to pry too much into her life outside of these sessions.

[Cara-Jean Kitchi]

Cara chewed on her lower lip, knowing that the man was going to want an pretty good answer for him to drop the subject of her and her comfort around other people. She brought but a past counselling session, one that happened long before she came to Blue Ridge Academy, and recited the words of the man she had been seeing then. "Because I am void of human emotion and I do not know how to trust, others or myself." The words may not have been the complete truth, but they were in no way a lie either.

She watched the man as he stood up, collected a file, hers no doubt, and returned to his seat. She didn't stress too much when the topic turned to Mr Andrews, the man had trained her what to saw when and if he was ever brought up. "Mr Andrews likes to remain outside of my academic career." She told him. "Although he felt that it was best for me to come and talk to you, he feels that he would be invading my privacy if he also comes to talk with you." She closed her eyes, sure that those words were correct, though she had never slipped up in her script yet. "Oh, he is a lovely man, Sir." She made sure she had the right amount of adoration in her voice. "As I said before, I owe him everything for where I am now." She closed her eyes again as she finished speaking, though this time to fight down the need to throw up, and the sudden urge to have a shower. Even talking of him this way made her feel unclean. She forced herself not to rock back and forth as nausea wash over her like a tidal wave, threatening to sweep her away.