(Gabriel)Winter of our Discontent

[Gabriel Reese]

A thoughtful expression crossed his face as he watched her reactions closely, though he made sure to not look directly at her again, now knowing that he made her uncomfy. Besides, for some it was easier to observe a person if they weren't looking at them directly, and Gabe found himself included in those few. He could take notice of small, miniscule shifts that he otherwise wouldn't have spotted, and he could see bare hints of raw emotion if they so crossed her face or showed up in her body language.

An eyebrow rose slightly at her words, and he took a few moments to grab a pad of sticky-notes from the small inn-table that sat between the two chairs and scribbled a few words on the first page, pausing and tapping his pen against his lips as he thought about what he'd just written, mentally nodding as it made a bit of sense, though he'd have to have more to go on before he truly started feeling her out for possible abuse. Still, seeming void of human emotion was a red flag, as it was possible that one could come to feel that way through emotional damage and abuse, and Gabe could see a few highlights in her persona that sent him to thinking she had some definite emotional damage, but was it from an abusive past or something more…?

He gave her a slow smile upon hearing her other words, though his eyes remained disbelieving at her words. Hadn't she just said she was void of human emotion? If so, the adoration in her voice was plausibly false, and Gabe had no hesitancy to question her, which he did so after writing a few more words down on his sticky-note. "I thought you said you were 'void of human emotion', Cara? If that's so, how can you adore Mr. Andrews, if you do not understand, by your own admission, what adoration is? Adoration is an emotion, is it not?" He settled back patiently, waiting for her reply to his question and wondering what she'd say. The pad of sticky-notes were held in one hand and with the other, he tapped a pen against his fingers. Cara's file lay on the inn-table between them, forgotten for now, but close by in case he wanted to review something.

[Cara-Jean Kitchi]

At his words Cara did the most teenage thing that she could think of, she rolled her eyes at herself, reminding herself not to recite the words of past psychiatrists. "Of course I'm not void of emotion." She said with a shrug. "Hate is an emotion. And contrary to popular belief is not the opposite emotion of love, apathy is." She glanced at the man. "And that is the lack of any emotion." Many people believed she was apathetic, but that was because she knew better than to wear her heart on her sleeve.

She tightened her arms around her legs. "And of course I adore Mr Andrews." She said, her voice almost too sweet for her liking, and she forced herself to ignore the nausea that threaten to overwhelm her. "He has been the closest I have ever had to a father." She closed her eyes, which she hoped he would take as her being walked down memory lane, as she made sure she was saying the words right. "He cares for me more than I could ever expect, and makes sure that my foster homes are carefully selected." At least the last part was the truth. Except his version of the best homes were the opposite of what most people would think.

[Gabriel Reese]

He couldn't help the light laughter that came from her answers. Gabe wasn't laughing at her, but more on the fact that they had just made a complete circle around the issue they were speaking of, and he gave her a grin, his expressions letting her know that he wasn't laughing at her, but at something that had crossed his mind.

]color=red]"All right, Cara. I'll drop it for now."[/color] He said to her, though he caught onto the almost too sweet tone of her voice but merely wrote a small abbreviated note down instead of commenting. "Though, I would like to meet Mr. Andrews sometime, perhaps our next meeting. I'll leave that to you, just do pass on the message that I'd like to meet him, please." He said, tone serious instead of light for once.

"Have you been well, then? Your academics are all excellent. Is there anything you'd like to talk over?" He wondered if she would want to talk about anything specific, as, if not, he knew they would just pass words back and forth in which he would use the time to study her some more. Gabe felt that there was indeed something wrong with Cara... well, not her, persay, but her life... but he wasn't sure quite how to approach the subject. Seems like a call is in order. I wonder if Mrs. Callie can shed some light on how to go about this stuff... He thought, thinking of the woman who had helped him so much as a teenager and young adult. Gabriel knew he was still quite knew to everything, and he didn't have near the experience his old counselor did so he did defer back to her a lot...

[Cara-Jean Kitchi]

Cara arched an eyebrow at the man's laughter but shook her head, she wasn't going to give him a comment, she just didn't have the energy.

She bowed her head gratefully when he said that he would let the topic drop. She held back a shudder at the thought of the next meeting in this office being with her social worker, but she knew that she would have no choice but to bring it up when they met for their weekly... get together. "I can ask him, but Mr Andrews is very busy so he may not be able to come." The repercussions of a meeting with both Mr Reese and her social worker would be hefty - to say the least - and she didn't know if she would survive the outcome if everything hit the fan all at once. For how could she possibly obey two people at the same time when their moral objectives were the complete opposite of each other? If there was a goo time for the ground to open up and swallow her, right now would be that time.

"I am sound, thank you Sir." She replied, using her inner thesaurus to change the word well into something that meant the same thing but wasn't an outright lie. She shrugged about her academics being excellent. She strived for perfection and settled for nothing less. Yes, she made mistakes, but if she did, she started over again. She hand-wrote all of her school work, and was proud of the fact, and there was never a pencil or pen mark in the wrong place.

She shook her head in reply to wanting to talk anything over. Had this man not worked out that she wasn't exactly forthcoming on the words department?

[Gabriel Reese]

"All I ask is that you inform him of my request." Gabriel leaned back in his chair, taking advantage of the silence to write down a short paragraph about his concerns with the girl. Things that he would bring up at a later date, if need be. For a long few minutes, the only sounds in the room were of the two's breathing and the scritch-scratch of Gabe's pen as he made his notes. Honestly, the man disliked taking the notes, even though it was the 'professional' thing to do in his chosen career. It made him feel as though the person he was speaking with were under a microscope and he disliked putting that feeling on anyone.

Her next few words caused him to look up and study her, a small frown marrng his face. "Cara, sound is a term we generally use for horses." He said slowly, "I think that's the first time I've heard a person use it to mean they're well." He shrugged slightly, letting that subject drop, as it was to each their own. When it became obvious that, even with encouragement, she wouldn't speak up, Gabriel sighed. "I really don't want to go to your teachers, barn manager's, and riding instructors and talk to them about you, but it looks like I might have to." He told her bluntly, hoping to get some sort of reaction. He really didn't like going behind a person and learning about them, as he'd rather learn about a person from the source, but with her, Gabe could definately see it wouldn't happen and she'd simply leave him guessing after each session. She was a hard nut to crack, but he wasn't the type to give up. "Is there something going on with your social worker or in your foster homes? Have you ever been hit or injured by the people you should trust?" He knew he'd changed subjects quite abruptly, but sometimes, just sometimes, the switch from one subject to another so abruptly could startle a person into saying something they didn't want to. Besides, she was exhibiting a few signs of possible abuse... they were faint, but there were a few small red flags and it was his job to follow through with any sigh that could possibly cause alarm.

[Cara-Jean Kitchi]

Cara shrugged. "It means the same thing. If you were to say a horse was sound, you would be telling another person that the horse is well. What would you rather I said, Sir? That I was chipper, fine, fit, flourishing, fresh, great, hardy, hearty, right, strong, together, or, up to par?" She let out a breath, knowing that she was venting and she needed to stop now.

She lifted her eyebrows at the comment of having to ask others. "I am a trained athlete, Sir. I have other people to talk for me, so I don't talk about myself. If there is anything in-particular that you wish to know, I will tell you, but I'm not good at..." She thought about a term that she had heard quite often from her past coaches. "Singing my own praises."

Her eyebrows rose even more at the next words directed at her. "No Sir, there is nothing going on with my social worker or in my foster homes." She fought the urge to close her eyes as nausea washed over her again. "And I would have to be given a reason to trust people to have been hurt by those I should trust." Her arms tightened around her legs, she knew that she was treading on thin ice, getting too close to saying something that she would severely regret later.

[Gabriel Reese]

Gabe settled back as she started ranting, not making any motion to stop her, as that was part of what he was hired to do, just listen to people, students, vent. And scream, and punch walls... if they so wanted. Though he was glad that she didn't do any of that and instead seemed content to just speak her rant."It doesn't matter what word you choose to express yourself, Cara." He stated after she fell silent, [clor=red]"I was merely making an observation. It's interesting to hear how people choose to express themselves, as it gives an insight to a persons personality. I'm sorry if it upset you."[/color]

An eyebrow rose slightly and the man set the paper down and picked up her file once more, reading through it again, for probably the hundreth time. "So, you're saying there that you don't trust your social worker? If anyone, he's a person you should trust, as he's probably the most influential person in your life at the moment... yet you say you don't trust him?" He prodded her gently, hoping she'd open up and reveal a little more information to what she'd just stated.

Gabriel nodded to show that he understood what she meant by being an athlete, but still, he had a feeling that what he wanted to know were'nt questions she would willingly answer, though, he decided, he would take her up on he 'offer' and ask her, though, if she shut herself down or refused something, he would circle around and do some 'undercover' work to find out the truth. His job was to listen to the students and to help them if he felt they needed help or something was wrong in their life, and he was growing more and more suspiscious that something was, indeed, wrong in the girls life. "I want to know about you." He said, leaning forwards once more and looking her in the eyes, "I'm curious, Cara-Jean. You exhibit some signs typical of children and teenagers in abusive situations, and I am curious, and, since you just said you'd tell me what I want to know, I'll hold you to it." He gave her a serious-borderline-stern look. Truthfully, he wasnt expecting her to be honest in answering his questions, but then again, you never knew... she could surprise him. "Are you in an abusive situation? Are you, in any way, being abused? Even slightly? Physical, emotional, sexual, it doesn't matter, I just want to know. I don't want to hear what people tell me about you, I'd rather hear it from you yourself and go from there."

[Cara-Jean Kitchi]

Cara lowered her head, completely ashamed by her outburst. She now knew why she normally remained stubbornly silent in the office of someone who wanted to talk about her troubles. There again though, those she had spoken to before now had been paid by the man who sent her to see them. Obviously not the case here.

She mentally kicked herself for her comment about trust, but didn't grace him with an answer to that comment. She'd never actually been rehearsed on what to say if it come to talking about trust.

She lowered her eyes, breaking eye contact in an instant and tucked an invisible strand of hair behind her ear as she listened to him. "With all due respect, Sir." She finally said. "I exhibit all the clinical signs of a foster child and orphan;:I struggle to fit in and trust those around me, I stick to what I know because it is where I feel safe - for me, it's horses, dancing and gymnastics. Change does not effect me and I don't feel comfortable talking about myself or my past." She shrugged, her voice flat and emotionless. "You talk about abuse? I think I have suffered the worst form of emotional abuse a child could ever suffer, and that was before I went into foster care. My parents died because Father was working late and Ma took him his dinner. And to add another knife to that one, I can't even remember who they are. Anything else on top of that, is nothing." She pressed her lips together and rested her forehead on her knees, completely shutting the man out as waves of pain washed over her.

[Gabriel Reese]

He noted her lack of reply to one of the things he'd said and mentally jotted it down in his mind to press later, at another time. Gabe felt a bit like he was overwhelming the girl, but he didn't feel as though he should really let up on his pressuring now that she was, at least, speaking with more emotion than she had been. He recognized the embarassed gesture she made and offered her a crooked grin, relaxing into his seat. "You did nothing to be embarassed over, Cara-Jean." He said, once again using her full first name. "Ranting and raving at people or to people is a natural part of life."

When she broke eye-contact, Gabe frowned, though he didn't ask her to look at him as she spoke. He merely listened and upon her faling silent, Gabrel sat back and eyed her for a long several minutes before he himself spoke. "I disagree." He finally said quietly, tone deep and serious. "Most orphans and foster children may struggle a bit, but they are generally well adjusted, and in you, I do not see someone who is very well-adjusted. Everyone out there likes to stick to what makes them feel safe, but also, everyone out there enjoys striking out at some point in time and trying new things. Change affects everyone, not one person can be unaffected by it."

He nodded sligtly to her, "You may have lost you parents, but so have many others out there, some in worse forms than death. I don't mean to sound insensitive to it, as I know it can be challenging to face such facts as a child or teenager... but losing a parent, or both, or a parent losing a child is something that one never gets over, but you learn to go on and adapt to it. How old were you, Cara, when your parents died?" He could easily flip through her file to find the answer, but Gabriel preferred to continue their conversation now, instead of breaking it off and possibly causing her to shut herself down. He did blink when she chose to ignore him, but he made no move and decide to wait for her to regain control of herself, as what she'd stated earlier about not trusting him still rang through his mind and he didn't want to possibly terrify her by hovering over her in concern.

[Cara-Jean Kitchi]

"Not well-adjusted?" She repeated, a hint of a question in there. "Why? Just because I don't wear my emotions on my sleeve, you think I'm emotionally unstable?" Yup, she'd turned the table and now her answers were the questions. She knew she should stop before her psychology training became too evident. "Put yourself in my shoes, Mr Reese. You spend your year in some boarding school or another and go in and out of foster homes during the holidays. Each place is different in one was or another. Would you want them to know every single emotion you were feeling? And I do strike out, as you call it. Except where other people expand their social circle, I do so academically. When striking out, I do it to advance my knowledge."

She let his next words just wash over her, knowing that she could just ignore them and remain like this until he finally gave up with her and dismissed her. She also knew that although he could ask other teachers about her, he was bound by that wonderful thing called confidentiality though and couldn't discuss anything she had told him to anyone outside this room. However, she wasn't stupid, and knew that he could still talk, as long as he didn't use her name and she knew that at least some of the teachers here would put two and two together and they would work out that it was her.

"I did adapt to their death." She finally replied, not lifting her head. "I threw myself into sports. And it's not like I'm a puddle of tears on the floor from talking about it." There again, to be a puddle of tears, would mean that she would have to remember who her parents were. "I was eighteen months old when they were murdered."

[Gabriel Reese]

Gabriel gave his ful attention to the girl, listening to her and studying her expressions and movements as she spoke. He leaned back, eyes on her, and took a sip of his water. "I don't know what you are, Cara." He finally said after a long few minutes of silence. "Emotionally unstable, not adjusted, or what. I don't know yet. But I will find out." He promised her, still giving her that curious look as though she were quite an interesting puzzle, which, to him, she was shaping up to be that way. "I cannot put myself in you shoes. I could try, but my own personal experiences would keep me from knowing exactly what you have gone through." He told her, staring out the window again as he thought about her comments.

"At eighteen months of age, a person wouldn't be able to remember much of anything from that age range." He said after a few minutes, "Have you never been able to speak or meet with anyone who knew or was friend with your parents?" He questioned her. That rang a little odd, if she had never been able to speak and get to know her parents through a family friend or something. "Have you ever been allowed to search out any friends of your parents and speak to them? Have you ever attempted to or wanted to?"

[Cara-Jean Kitchi]

"From what I have been told, Father's life revolved around work, impressing his Otosama - father, and his family. Ma was just as private." She shrugged. "I used to speak often with father's lawyer. He and father went through school together and had known each other since childhood." She shook her head. "Have I wanted to search out their friends? No. My entire family turned theirs backs on me, why would I want their friends to do the same? Am I bitter about this? Not at all, if I had been taken in by ma's people, I would have been brought up as an American Indian. If father's family had accepted me, I would have been brought up as Japanese. As nice as it would have been to have been surrounded by family, I belong to neither and both. I'm a half-breed, a mutt if you would prefer. And I am who I am because of this."

She sighed as she shook her head. "I know who my parents were to other people. But I will never know who they were to me, and it's just not the same." She shrugged her shoulders. "I have a photographic memory, I always have, it just doesn't go beyond my first foster home." She liked having as few people knowing about her memory as possible, but she knew that Mr Reese would put two and two together, after all, she knew that she had repeated too much, verbatim, for him not to be wondering. And also it made it sound like she wasn't reading off a script when the topic floated around her social worker.

[Gabriel Reese]

Gabriel nodded again, scribbling a few more notes while she spoke. He was a little concerned over a few things, but for now, those small concerns didn't seem to be much of anything and he really didn't have enough information or suspicions to really have a reason for any sort of snooping into her life... yet.

The man leaned leaned sideways in his chair, reaching down to grab her file from where he'd placed it several minutes ago when he had decided to use sticky-notes to write on instead of the actualy papers inside the file, and flipped it back open. He riped off one of the sticky-notes and stuck it to the first page of information about Cara, and did the same with the three other notes he'd written to himself to go ito on their next meeting.

Gabriel jumped a little when he heard his watch go off, chiming that the hour and a half session was nearing it's end time, and glanced at his watch, then his clock confusedly before his expressions cleared up. His watch said it was an hour earlier than his clock. A moment later, he could have kicked himself as he realized that he hadn't set his hanging wall clock back an hour the other day, when daylight savings went off.

"Well, Cara... I guess this is the end of this session, according to my watch." He told the girl with a friendly smile. It seemed like they had been talking for much longer than an hour and a half, but he supposed, that was the way things were. He stood up and set al lhis things (his pad of sticky-notes, her file, his pen, and his water) down on his desk and moved to the door, opening it for her in a kind gesture, as he had done last time as well. "I'll see you next time. Remember to ask... actually, hold on a moment..." Gabe left the door open and bolted to his desk, where he quickly pulled up the Microsoft Word program and typed out a fast letter to her social worker, requesting that he come to the next counseling session if he could make it and stating that if he could not make it, that Gabe would like to meet him sometime, and Cara-Jean could fill him in on when the next session would be and so on and so forth. He added his office phone number and personal cell phone number in as well, if the man wanted to call if he couldn't make it.

Pushing the print button, Gabe waited for the short letter to print and when it did, he folded it and placed it in an envelope, penning the name 'Mr. Andrews' onto the front of the envelope. Then he walked back to the door, to see Cara out. "Here you are, just give this to your social worker, please." He told her, holding the envelope containing the letter out. "I'll see you next time, Cara."

---

notes: ending it here, as it's a good stopping point for now... and my muse just flew the coop...

[Cara-Jean Kitchi]

Cara jumped as the man's alarm went off, her eyes opened wide in fright before she shook her head and the mask once again fell over her face as she released a calming breath and lowered her legs to the ground, pushing her feet into her ballet flats.

She silently rose to her to her feet and followed him over to the door, nodding her head about talking to her social worker. She cringed slightly when he asked her to wait as he walked back to the computer. "You do not trust me to pass on your message, Sir?" She questioned, slightly amused. She was trained to obey, but he didn't know that, did he?

"As you command." She said as she took the proffered paper. She drew in a shaky breath as she slid the envelope into her bag. She looked at the counsellor before dropping her gaze to the floor as she chewed on her lower lip. "Until next time." She finally said as she dropped a graceful curtsy and then walked away. What she had wanted to say was to tell the man that he would regret having her social worker at the next meeting. If he thought she didn't say a lot now, she would be able to say nothing with Mr Andrews present.

OOC: Sweet, I'll move it to the graveyard. Until next time...